Recently, I had a class (small class, only eight of us) where our discussion led us to talking about qualities that make each of us unique. Some of my peers perceive me as having a lot of personal integrity and conviction – knowing what I want and knowing myself and sticking to my guns, playing devil’s advocate, etc. Many of the things they said about me didn’t necessarily surprise me, but the “knowing what I want and knowing myself” part was a little surprising. I still feel like I’m attempting balance in my life, much as anyone might be. I don’t always feel very sure about things and I feel like I am an indecisive person. I feel like I’ve been especially sensitive lately, just with the stresses of school and pressures to always be on top of things with my program – to always be doing more and getting involved and putting a good face on the profession and the program, while maintaining your own sanity.
However, this little exercise was interesting because it showed me that you might be doing better than you think you are. You are always going to be your own worst critic (definitely in my opinion), and you deserve to cut yourself some slack. For although I might feel as though I’m struggling internally, I’m probably doing better than I’m letting on and I’m probably freaking prematurely about many things. So relaxxx. Take a deep breath.
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