I think I know where I'm going to school next year. (I'm trying to become a physical therapist.) This process has been grueling, emotional, longer than expected, and different than when I applied to doctoral programs a couple years ago. In both processes, however, only a select few are picked, and you never really figure out why one person is picked over another.
My analytical brain yearns to know why some schools accepted me and some didn't (I applied to nine for PT and around five or six for PhD). Especially when some schools that accepted me have so-called "better", or what-have-you, reputations than some schools a little lower on the perceptive totem pole. What a wise family member told me though, "the best part of that is you don't have to spend ANY time worrying about that [why a school picked you and why one didn't], it doesn't matter." And as much as I want to gather data and take it all as a way to better myself and figure out what I did wrong, the reality of it is that I might not have done anything wrong. My biggest fault could have been that I didn't live in the state where the school I was applying to is located. And so while being rejected from something sucks and can result in an insanely personal reaction, being accepted somewhere, anywhere, is relieving.
The irony of the school I'm going to is that it was on the bottom of my list when all of this started. It was kind of a random place that I chose to apply to, but after every interaction and contact I've had with them, I get that fuzzy feeling; my mom thinks I'm just excited to go there. "It's nice to be wanted, isn't it?" And it is. The downside is their pricetag, as I'm out of state and the state has a rule about becoming in-state (i.e. it's harder than most other states). Accruing hella debt is obviously a very overwhelming thought. Do I knowingly jump into the depths of a hole where I can't see the bottom?
I think I'm learning that this is one of those questions you can't really know what the consequences are until they happen, and you just have to roll with things. (Which is hard for someone who plans when nervous.) So instead of thinking about this question, I probably just need to do it first, think later. Is this the "right" decision? Is there only one right decision? I'm not sure. But I have to make the best decision I can at the time with the information I have.
I missed the memo on International Happiness Day, and thus, should rejoice this weekend, knowing I have an impetus for another chapter in my life. Go team...?!
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